He made so angry with his words that I snatched away from him. I could feel the heat rise to my head as I yelled out to him, “YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I ain’t gay, man.” He just laughed, “You are really in denial.” He sat up at the edge of the bed and begin to straighten the collar to his unbuttoned shirt. The weight of the sinful act that we just committed, had been committing for over a year now, fell onto my shoulders as I squared my fists. “Man what are you on a do, fight me for stating the obvious?” I just looked at him with so much anger that I could’ve launched at him in all of my fury and knocked him thorough the wall and destroyed that stupid grin on his face. Quickly, I grabbed my Farragamos and sat down. I had planned on showering here but at the rate that this conversation was going, I knew I had to leave quick. Keri just continued with his overly calm demeanor to state his cause, “You get all hot and heavy, and want to meet me in this hotel room and do whatever your holier than thou heart desires, and then get upset when I ask you are you going to face your truth.” He laughed, then exhaled. Walking over to me, he sat down next to me on the bed. I had completed donning my shoes, but was counting to what seemed to be a hundred with my head to my knees to keep from getting angry all over again. He placed his hand on my chin and lifted up my face to look at his. “Peter, you know I am your friend before anything. Me and you go way back to the 7th grade. I tell you the truth because I care for you, hell, I love you.” I looked away and fought back tears. He didn’t understand and I knew he never would. It’s not like I didn’t realize my actions created a different truth than what I was willing to accept. It’s just that HIS truth came with a price. A price that I couldn’t bear to pay. My marriage, my reputation, my CONGREGATION. How could I possibly look at any of my bishops, deacons, ministers, even choir members with a straight face and tell them I have been living foul? Was this supposed to just go away? I had seen Pastors who stepped out on their wife with a woman get hung to the pasture. How much more would they absolutely CRUCIFY me when they find out that I stepped out with a MAN? Keri’s hand on my shoulder. I quickly wiped my tear and stood up. “Keri, I don’t know why you can’t understand that I am not gay. I am not even attracted in the least bit to men. I am just attracted to you.” Keri stood up and walked to the sofa where his jacket had been thrown in the midst of our sinful actions. He looked at me, sadness mixed with something I couldn’t put my finger on. “Peter, you are years past denial. You walk around here, giving the word of God to thousands of people every day of the week, and you can’t realize when you are the problem.” I started to speak, and he interrupted me in anger. “You are lying to Alyshia, Ian and yourself. I mean, you call me Keri so that you feel better about having sex with a man named Kareem.” I finished buttoning my shirt and I walked towards the door. He kept speaking. “You are a coward. Trust me I know because I used to be one. You need to get yourself together and get ready to tell Alyshia and the congregation before someone decides to do it for you.” At this, I knew that he was so calm and cool because he had something up his sleeve. I was not having it, NOBODY was going to threaten me and make me fear being who God called me to be. I turned around so fast that he flinched. I walked as close to him as I could and said two words. “TRY ME”. He stepped back, and tried to search my face. I knew that he understood immediately the danger that was behind my words. He begin to backpedal… “Pete, I’m not telling you that I am going to say anything. I am just saying that what’s done in the dark will come to light.” I grabbed my gun and cocked it. He begin to hold up his hands, breathing like he had seen a ghost. A tear begin to fall down his cheek and at that moment I realized how killing him would be so easy. Nobody knew I was here. By the time anyone found him, I would be back in town and handling my Pastoral duties. “Don’t you ever feel like you comfortable enough to threaten me dude.” By now, Keri had slid down the wall and was nearly in fetal position on the floor. I grabbed my shades and opened the door. I could hear Keri crying and sobbing but I didn’t care. Then he called my name. “Peter, No!!” I looked back at him, and he was shaking profusely. “Keri… Kareem, what’s wrong with you dude?” He was always so dramatic. I turned back towards the door and I stood face to face with my wife Alyshia.