A video is now going viral of a young black teen who secretly recorded a man sexually touching her while driving her to work. Upon watching the video, one is able to conclude that this man making sexual advances to her is her mother’s boyfriend. In the beginning of the video, you can hear the man asking the young lady “Are you going to tell on me?” The young lady replies that she won’t. He then goes on to ask her if she is going to f*** with him and she she states that she will. The man continues to petition her by complimenting on her toes being pretty and offering to paint them. She refuses. Her mother then calls. He looks at her afraid and asks whether she had told her mother. She says no and he answers and has a conversation with the mother about not having money to give her for gas and they hang up. He then confesses that he thought she had told on him to her mother. The video then flips to him reaching his hand out to her lady parts and touching her as he plays music and drives. What really made me overly upset about the entire situation was that the video portrayed open sexual molestation of a young lady by a man entrusted with her. However, the comment section was filled with people who were saying the most crude remarks one has ever seen, such as: “she didn’t pull her hand back from him.” Other people stated things like, “The girl is probably mad at him so now she wants to tell her mother.” Yet another disturbing response was, “Did you hear her moan when he touched her? She liked it.” (Mind you the moan was a sound effect from the music they were listening to.)
Herein lies the problem with society. Why is it that people are so quick to blame a victim when it’s clear that they have been violated by the perpetrator? There is an overwhelming lack of empathy towards those that have been placed in compromising situations with those who were entrusted at one point or another with their care. I have heard stories and seen situations where young ladies are sexually violated by men in their lives as teens or even younger and as they are brave enough to come out and tell the truth about the situation, they are victim shamed by others. Questions like “why did they wait to tell” or “why didn’t they fight the person off?” are the reactions they are welcomed with. It breaks my heart to think of how that must feel, to be hurt by one person and then re-victimized by others who feel your reaction to the assault was the wrong one. Let me make this perfectly clear: Not everyone reacts to unwanted sexual activity the same way. No one is allowed to tell a victim that they should have victimized differently. It is a very cruel and evil thing to do when someone is trying to bring justice to a situation that should have never taken place.
There is a hole in the heart of society that comes from being hit with over sexualization. People have seen so much of it on television, movies and the internet that they forget that there is a darker side to it. All over the world, young girls and even young boys are being put in situations like this one and instead of being met with an empathetic ear, they are judged as if they have caused this to happen to themselves. I have heard stories from victims of sexual abuse who have stated that they were mad at themselves because their body reacted to sexual stimulation in a way that one would if it was consensual. Just thinking about how confused, angry and alone one would feel in such a situation brings tears to my eyes. We have to do better as a society.
The young lady in this video is brave. I investigated this story hoping to find out what happened behind the video and I was so glad to know that this man had been arrested. Apparently, he had touched her inappropriately in a home and once she tried to leave, he stopped her and kissed her in the mouth. She then told him she had to work to get away from him which is when she was smart and brave enough to video record him making further sexual advances to her and asking her to keep it a secret. This young lady is a shining example for all sexually abused children around the world. She and others like her should not be blamed for the inappropriate sexual advances grown men (He is 37 years old) make towards them. How dare we as society side with the man who obviously knew what he did was wrong? I personally believe that even if a child came to a grown up with no clothing at all on, begging for them to have sex with them, a grown up should be able to say, “No, this is not right, I am an adult and you are a child.” Let’s stop making excuses that keep young people as ashamed quiet victims and allows perpetrators to give excuses as to why they shouldn’t be held responsible for an action they themselves decided to commit.
If you are reading this and you have been a victim of sexual abuse, I want you to know that you are not alone. So many of us are put in bad situations at a young age and then told once we are victimized how we ‘should’ have responded. Nobody has the right to tell you how to deal with this. You are brave and it is not your fault. I pray that God heals you mentally, physically and emotionally in every way. May you help others by telling your story and not be afraid to stand in your truth. God bless you.
A link to the video is here https://www.facebook.com/kingstree.hiphoprnb/videos/593113467812175/