presents Sexual
Addiction by Stephanie Lewis

As a Christian, sex is a topic that is usually avoided. Most Christians simply direct their single Christian family to wait until marriage to deal with the issue of sex. I of course, agree that sex before marriage should be something that is avoided at all costs. This is because of the troubles that come with premarital sex, from unwanted pregnancies to sexually transmitted diseases. The pain you feel when a relationship goes left is something that can easily drive the Christian away from the loving arms of God into a dark place of sadness and solitude. I started to think about sex, of course as I wrote this blog. And trust me there were A LOT of words that come to mind when considering the positive feelings! Here is a list of words that came to me: fun, secretive, exciting, committment, love, desires, happiness, bonding. There were also a lot of negative words that came with it: soulties, anger, deceit, falsehood, sickness, sadness,fear, abandonment, low self-esteem, insecurity, bitterness, hate, regret, suffering. This list could easily go on and on, but I don’t want to be a bitter Betty!!

It has been stated that sexual addiction is in itself not about having sex. Some people believe that certain people just love the thrill of sexual encounters and therefore are overly sexual. In reality, the majority of individuals who present with sexual addiction really have more of an intimacy disorder than a sex disorder. Sexual addicts may actually use gratification of sex as an avenue of creating “metaphoric connections” to serve intimacy needs that are unmet.Others may use sex to deal with feelings of disconnection and the inability to create relationships with others. Still others may use sex as a way to escape reality. Filled with the “high” of feeling beautiful, powerful, or desired, many see sexual acts as something to boost self-esteem, even if only for the time that it lasts. The fact that it is a temporary feeling that usually dissolves as that encounter ends, the need to feel it more and more drives the individual into more and more sexual partners and encounters.
So what is sexual addiction??? Sexual addiction is a mindset characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, including sexual intercourse, masturbation or watching pornography despite negative consequences or desire to end said behavior.
Sex addiction of any kind is marked by a loss of control: the person can no longer control the compulsion to have sex, despite negative consequences or even possessing the desire to end addiction. A few symptoms are: Compulsive masturbation, compulsive pornography use, multiple affairs, and multiple sexual partners. By compulsive I mean that it is uncontrolled, you may be simply lying down to go to sleep and get the overwhelming urge to masturbate. It may be a certain time of night, when all you desire to do is to have sex. This may lead you to clubs, calling up your exes or one of your multiple sex partners or even sliding into the DM’s of someone new to try to pursue a sexual encounters. Stress in a relationship may cause you to desire to have sex with someone outside the relationship to relieve it.
More symptoms are:
• Frequently having more sexual partners than desired
• (as stated before: uncontrollable need to engage in sexual behaviors more often and over a longer period of time
• Excessive amount of time and energy spent on aquiring sex or engaging in sexual activities
• Obession with music and movies about sex, engaging in foreplay,or use of sex toys
• Repeated engagement in sexual activities, despite the desire to stop or negative consequences.
• Constantly carrying on conversation about sexual acts or sexual body parts (i.e. vagina, penis, breast)

You may have read this and believe that you fit into this category. Maybe someone you know may fit into a lot of these symptoms and you think that they should seek assistance. Please feel free to inbox us for more information at onebeautifulstepinchrist@gmail.com. Also you can feel free to comment on this blog!! We would love to hear from you!

We will soon be presenting a webinar on this subject! Add your name and email at www.onebeautifulstep.com for more details. It will be absolutely free to you!