In looking back at my move, I knew that it was God that had orchestrated all of my move. The apartment I lived in now was 200 dollars less per month with much more room. It also was a much quieter neighborhood and a nice landlord. I was very content, although my marriage was dwindling. I was working both jobs with hours being either 7-3 and 3-11 or 11-7 and 7-3. When I was coming, he was going, when I was leaving, he was coming. It was very frustrating. I had been very patient, but my heart was breaking. Even when I called him while at work, he wouldn’t answer the phone. I was so devastated. I spent so much time begging, pleading, crying and asking my husband to understand where I was coming from. I literally remember laying out 24 coins and taking out 16 representing the hours I had to work. The 6 of those were taken away for the time that he spent out in the streets and that only left 2 hours. We were barely seeing each other 1-2 hours per day at this point. I called my Pastors wife often, asking her to pray with me and help me to decide what to do. While she listened to me, she always told me that she would never tell me to leave him because I was married. I would cry on the phone, listen to her, and we would pray together. One thing she kept saying is “anything you tolerate won’t change.” That stuck with my heart. One day someone came over to my home and I was reading my word and praying. We talked for awhile and she said, “Stephanie why won’t he come home with you, he is always bringing other women around everyone.” I didn’t have an answer. I believe it was the Lord who said through me, “He has 30 days to get himself together.” When she told him later, I remember she told me he said, “She ain’t going nowhere.” I believe God showed me his mindset. He knew he had the advantage and he was not going to change. My heart was so troubled and hurt. I remember at one time he even asked me why does he have to come home every night… One day, my sister had her 4th child. We went to the hospital and sat with her and the new baby. While I was sitting with my new nephew, my husband’s phone was blowing up. He was getting calls back to back (as usual.) Over and over again I heard him say, “I’m at the hospital, STEPHANIE’S sister had a baby.” He kept saying this with numerous calls. As I was sitting there, I heard the Spirit of God say, “Watch this next call.” I couldn’t believe I heard the voice. I sat there, pondering on this. As I did so, I heard my husband answer his phone and say “MY SISTER had a baby.” Now normally, it wouldn’t have raised any flags or ruffled my feathers but I knew it was a reason he didn’t use my name. Then the Holy Spirit said, “He didn’t say Stephanie because SHE doesn’t know Stephanie.” I shook my head, flabbergasted. The Holy Spirit went on to say, “He’s about to have to leave because SHE told him to come over.” I was frozen in my seat. Had I really heard this? Was I tripping? Then suddenly I heard my husband say “I have to go.” This really stunned me. I knew then why he couldn’t come home at night. I knew why all my begging, pleading, imploring him to stay with me meant nothing. We had been in this relationship for 12 years. I had stayed by his side through prison, through numerous affairs, through him being broke, everything. I gave him my all. None of that mattered as we entered the elevator, me knowing that he was going to see someone else. I was angry. I told him, “I know you never will do me right. It doesn’t matter because I have someone who cares about me.” Now I know it is childish looking back, and I was only talking about Jesus Christ, but I can’t lie and say that I didn’t want him to think it was someone. He got angry and cursed me out, calling me everything that was under the sun, and throwing in the manipulation line of “Get my stuff out your house and drop it to my sister.” Let me explain that he knew that if he said that it usually ended any argument. I mean, I knew I didn’t want the lying, cheating, and manipulation, but they were nothing in my heart compared to the loneliness of divorce. He knew that. So I dropped him off (where I knew in my heart she would pick him up.) I got home and I was supposed to be picking up my mom some things for her stay at the hospital with my sister. I conceded that i didn’t want to fight today. I had work in the morning, and I didn’t want to spend my whole night upset. I almost sat down to sulk when something came over me. Before I knew it, I had grabbed all his stuff from his side of the closet. I packed up that little car in no time and took his clothes to his family house. They laughed at me, saying we would be back together (we had been together for 12 years). However, I followed what I knew I should do. This was liberating for the moment, but I must admit when I got home, I was confused, like “what did I just do? Was it the right thing?”. The Holy Spirit comforted my heart and I was able to sleep the first nights of many without expecting him to come back to me.