Think about it for a moment; is there anything that you would like to change about yourself? I am so sure that there is something for each one of us that we desire to improve in some way. There are many things about myself that I wish that I could change. Some of them are set in stone, such as people I chose to be in relationships with or the length of time it took me to complete my degree. These things bother me from time to time; however, I understand completely that I cannot change that. Sometimes when those type of things try to plague my thoughts, a simple reminder of that fact helps me to focus on more appropriate things. One thing I have been able to hone in on and master change in is how much drama I allow in my life. I can tell you that there has been so many incidents and days spent in complete frustration because of people in my life who have caused me stress. Beloved, I have truly learned that there are some people in this world who are simply NOT FOR YOU. They will come into your life disguised as friends of even boyfriends/girlfriends and bring havoc in every way. Have you ever had a friend who calls you only when they need you? I have had friends like this. Never there when you need them at all, but when they need you, they desire for you to drop everything and be there for them. Those same friends never wanted to celebrate with me when I experienced accomplishments. They never regarded my advice to them, even when they absorbed so much of my time seeking it out. There were days when I would dread when my phone rang and I knew it was them. I shake my head thinking about how foolish I was thinking that this was a friendship for so long. Maybe you have someone or perhaps, even more than one person in your life who drains you in this way. Many of us keep people in our lives because we feel that the friendship or relationship that we have established is permanent when really it was not meant to be. We may love these people like brothers or like sisters or think that this person has the potential to be your husband or your wife, but to keep allowing the person to do things that hurt you or drain you is not being loving to yourself. I know that I am just scratching the surface of friendship and relationship issues as I know some of you have allowed people who have done much more than absorb your time getting advice that they will never follow. Some of us are in relationships with people who habitually cheat on you, or have lifelong friendships with someone who has hurt you by sleeping with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do we do this to ourselves? There were so many times that I was in a relationship with someone and that person would hurt me over and over and I would allow the pain to continue, hoping that somehow that would make them love me more. I now understand that I was truly my own worst enemy in doing so. Beloved, if you don’t protect your own heart, nobody will line up and do it for you. We may try to pour love into the lives of those who hurt us but the truth is that anything you tolerate won’t change. If you allow someone to treat you a certain way and they do it over and over again with no regards to how it makes you feel, the fact that you have not done anything about their actions creates a comfort in them with doing you that way. They will not change it because you have not required them to. Deep down inside their actions may in fact make you feel like nothing. You may feel like you deserve better, and maybe in some alternate universe that person may have the capabilities to be better towards you. However at the end of the day, people do just what they want to do. If they want to hurt you, they will hurt you. If they want to be faithful, they will be faithful. Nothing you do, no amount of compromising, crying, complaining, retaliating, or demanding change will make someone change. They have to want it for themselves. You also have to want change for yourself. Instead of allowing that person to hurt you, it would be better for you to explore your life and try to find out what it is inside of you that makes you feel as if you deserve that level of hurt. Why do you allow that person to make you feel that way? In finding out what that is, you will be able to identify what needs to be improved in your heart for you to be happy. For me this was scary. To close the door on relationships that had been in my life for so long, with people who I cared so deeply about was absolutely scary. Nonetheless, in weighing out what was at stake I realized it was what had to be done. God did not design me to be that way. He wanted me to love my enemies but the bible tells us that we are to guard our heart. Some of us are praying to God over and over again about pain that we are allowing in our lives because we are not following the word of God which tells us to guard our heart. We let people in who are hurting us and not caring about how we feel about it, and then we complain as if we are unable to do anything about the situation. We must face our fears and demand change in our lives. Cut out the drama by setting your standard higher for the people who are in your inner circle. If people truly love you, they will meet you at the standard and love you accordingly. If not, then it’s their loss. Believe in your worth, set your standards higher loves. You’re worth it.